Whilst lounging around with my girlfriends, drinking tea and watching
Jersey Shore*, an advert came on for a product that left me quite
bemused.
Pearl Drops Instant White.
You paint on this emulsion-like liquid which makes your teeth white, temporarily.
It's the non-whitening whitener.
How does this crazy concoction work exactly?! Can I really paint it on
in the morning, attend meetings, and be sure that the finished effect
looks subtle enough up close that my attendees won't think I am the
office nutjob that Tippexed my teeth?
Maybe I'm not too far off the mark: is this, in fact, Tippex re-
promoted as a beauty product? Perhaps some corporate suit wanted a
slice of the billion pound beauty industry and decided to appropriate
it via the stationery cupboard. In that case, I have a great new
eyeliner that I can sell you. Don't be put off by its Biro-like
appearance.
Seems like this product has come from the Boy George Beauty School of Thought.
But painting double chins black does not make them disappear, much in the
same way that Dulux-ing your teeth probably will not look normal.
Wonder what it's made of. I don't fancy ingesting a Tippex-like substance.
Something about the skull and crossbones symbol on the side of the bottle
tells me that this would be of limited nutritional value.
Still gonna try it though.
*25 minutes of my life that I shall never, ever get back.
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